~ The eight basic types of chain letters! (too funny) ~
Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
Really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please.... they’ll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you moron!!!
Something else! Quick!!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
STOP!!!!
Wasn’t that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty,
here’s what I’ll do. First of all, if you don’t send this to 5096 people
in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown off a
high building into a pile of garbage. It’s true! Because, you know, THIS
letter isn’t like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
Here’s how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.
*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain
letter.
*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain
letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you for sending them
a stupid chain letter, and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and
no goats. This little boy’s life could be saved, because for every time you
pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless
Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of
counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5
people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send
this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many
little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on
to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you
like:
Stupid Horror Story #1 Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday.
She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a
flood of sewerage, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell
nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Stupid Horror Story #2 Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his
mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
girlfriend. They both died. Their families were so upset that everyone related
to them (even by marriage) went crazy and pent the rest of their miserable lives
in an institution. This Could Happen To You!!! Remember, you could end up like
Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and
everything will be OK.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your
friends.
Friends
-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you have body odor,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you’ve soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser
life,
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown in a pile of garbage,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check
and leaves and doesn’t speak much English, no sorry- that’s the cleaning
lady,
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish
of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don’t, you’ll be eaten by wild goats.
Chain Letter Type 5:
This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to test its e-mail
tracking system because, you know, a big high-tech company like Microsoft always
sends important new software out over the internet to be available to any moron
who can operate a computer, right? Plus, they have formed a secret merger with
Disney Corp., who has agreed to give up millions of dollars in revenue by giving
everyone who reads this e-mail, passes it on, looks at it, knows someone that
looked at it, or is related to someone who is a friend of someone who looks at
it A FREE, ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney! So
pass this on to everyone you know that is gullible enough to believe this (or
not)! Even if it’s not true, hey- insulting all of your friends by implying
that they are gullible by sending this to them is worth the improbable chance
that you could go to Disneyland! Even if you lose all of your friends because
they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from you, it’s worth the chance,
right? And just for good measure, if you don’t send this on, Microsoft will
send its specially trained attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your
family, SO SEND IT ON!!!!!
Chain Letter Type 6:
VIRUS WARNING!!! If you receive an email entitled “Bad times,” delete it
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not
only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on
disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of
your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on
your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to
play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator’s coolness settings so all your
ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It mixes antifreeze into your aquarium
and puts dirty socks on the table when company is coming over. It uses your
credit cards, forges your signature, and dates your boy/girlfriend. It will
program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law’s number. It will
make mad goats come into your home to raid your refrigerator and soil your
furniture. So be careful! Forward this to all of your friends, relatives,
neighbors, family, enemies, plumbers, garbage men, stock brokers, doctors, and
any other acquaintances! It’s for their own good! Thank you.
Chain Letter Type 7:
Here is a cute picture I drew.
( /)
( / )
( / )
( /<> )
( / / )
/ __
( ) ( )
It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so it will brighten
their day like it did yours! If you don’t, demon-possessed goats will move
into your house and eat all of your socks, leading you to believe that something
is wrong with your washing machine because all of your socks keep disappearing.
Have a nice day!!!
Chain Letter Type 8:
This is the funniest thing in the world! In exactly 87 seconds, you have to send
this to 275 people, then if you press (space bar + tab + backspace + page up) a
clip will pop up on your screen of a mad goat attacking Bill Gates and butting
him into a pile of garbage! I couldn’t stop laughing, even though since I’m
typing this I obviously couldn’t have seen it yet, and there is absolutely no
way to attach a clip in a way that you have to send the email before you see the
clip, it’s still true! And you know what else is true? I am Batman! And if you
stay online doing absolutely nothing for one hour after sending this, I’ll
email you a gift certificate for five million dollars to spend at Wal-Mart! Just
forget the fact that I have no way of finding the email addresses of people who
send this out, and the fact that stores will recognize a fake gift certificate.
Just send this out, you’ll be glad you did!
Wasn’t that a fun little anthology? Now, if you don’t send this to anyone,
guess what’ll happen to you—nothing! But if you do decide to send this to
some people, you might feel special for helping people to see the light and
realize that chain letters aren’t magical, they’re just obnoxious. Maybe
someday we can make all chainletters die the horrible death that some of them
threaten us with. Now that a bunch of religious chainletters are appearing,
i’m just waiting for one that says that if you don’t send this on, God will
make lightening strike you, or angels will get sad and cry torrents of rain on
your un-raincoated, un-umbrellaed head. So if you get something that’s funny
and cool (like this ;-) ), send it, but if it turns out to be a threat or a
guilt trip, just do the world a favor and delete it.
~ Yep.. I've received at least one chain latter of each type ^__^U...